Hello, everyone.
I've written a speech so I don't mess it up.
- Welcome to our new home. - Thank you.
It's not brand new but it has to suit us.
And Elisabeth is quite worn out.
Well...
Go on, Sune.
- Sune? - Where's Sune?
- Sune! - What are you up to?
- Is it now? I had to pee. - Pee?
What's going on?
- Dear Elisabeth. - Get up.
You're a great woman. I haven't had that many, -
- but you're the perfect lady for me.
- No! - Oh la la.
Will you marry me?
- No. - But I love you.
But you know I don't belive in marriage. Get up, honey.
I want to make you an honest woman out of you.
It's a bit too late for that.
Well...
All that's left to say is: Welcome to our housewarming!
- Cheers! - Cheers.
Oh no.
Elisabeth?
- Did you have enough to drink today? - Vodka and two bottles of Beaujolais.
- You passed out. - I'm fine now, honey.
Come on.
Is that surgical spirits?
- Why do you think she passed out? - Her body's sick of being a drunkard.
An alcoholic, not a drunkard. It's like nigger and black.
PARK ROAD
TILL DEATH DO US PART
AWAKE! LIFE IS A WONDERFUL GIFT
- Hi, Kim. - Hi, Sune.
I don't know...
I was wondering if you might have some...
- Marijuana. - Marijuana, Kim?
- It was silly. I'm sorry. - No, no, no! Relax.
- I have lots of pot. - Pot? That's what it's called. Pot.
It's the only fun I have after an Albanian shot me in the ass.
- It's Katrine's. She's disgusting. - Bloody disgusting.
- What about one of these? - Okay. Thank you.
- I didn't know you smoked pot. - Astrid and I often smoke...
We often do some pot.
- We haven't done this in 15 years. - We haven't done a lot in 15 years.
We're going to change that now.
- What do you mean? - Life is short, honey.
You can collapse at a party.
You have to be in it. Live fast, die young.
Okay, Kim Borg, aged 13. What do you want us to do?
I don't know. Anything.
- Did you buy cherry wine? - The first wine we had together.
How could you mistake this for a bottle of red wine?
I wasn't wearing my glasses when I went shopping for our first picnic.
It's not that funny.
I remember your glasses now.
You looked like a lemur.
Now you're bald, Kim.
Just look at that egghead.
You've grown pretty old, yourself.
Have you noticed how flabby your thighs are, Astrid?
Flab, flab. "Who is it?" "It's just me, Flabby Astrid."
With my flabby thighs and my big, red monkey bum.
You're so mean.
Horse bite.
- My arm hurts! - Try stretching it.
- You idiot! - I'm sorry.
- What are you doing? - I'm going home.
We haven't had the results yet.
Because they wear a white coat, they think we can wait all night.
- I'll explain to those monkeys... - We're going home.
- This place makes you ill. - Let's talk to the doctor.
Listen, honey. There's nothing wrong with me that I can't handle myself.
- There you are. We're leaving now. - You'd better wait a minute.
The tests show that you suffer from a very severe case of renal failure.
Renal failure? What do you take for that?
You need a kidney transplant.
Unfortunately, you're AB negative which is quite a rare blood group.
So it may be a bit difficult to find a suitable donor.
While you're waiting for a new kidney, you'll have to carry this.
When it starts beeping, you have to come here straight away.
How long will it be before... before it's too late?
It's hard to say.
It may be a question of months.
I'll loosen this one.
- There you go. - Thank you.
What's up, Adolf?
- Is it very obvious? - No, not at all.
Nazi pig!
Unbelievable.
- No! - He's just an old bugger.
- It's my old boyfriend, Penis Per. - Take it easy.
- What are we doing? - Quiet, Kim.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Astrid? - Oh my God. Per?
- Hi. - Hi.
- What are you doing? - We wanted some candy.
If I want candy, I have to have it.
I remember.
It's great to see you.
Astrid?
I'm sorry. Per, this is Kim, my husband.
Kim Borg. I'm married to Astrid.
- Kim and Astrid Borg. - Per.
You're lucky. I only had the pleasure of Astrid during our studies.
- Wouldn't it be nice to meet up? - Yes.
- I don't think so. - Not like that. I'm happily married.
- Maybe we could meet, the four of us. - That's a good idea.
- You could come to dinner. - This Saturday?
- At seven? - Fine.
- Hey! - Hi, Torben. How is she?
- Heil, Astrid. - A sofa fell on it.
I see. I need to borrow this charmer.
If he can take his eyes off your wife.
Will you give Elisabeth this? I need some air.
I'd better... Give Elisabeth my best.
- See you on Saturday. - At seven.
- Can't she have one of my kidneys? - Are you AB negative?
You get so much money for research. You must be able to fix this.
- Doesn't she have any siblings? - No, she doesn't.
- Won't you help me? - No.
- You're childish. - You flirted.
- I was overwhelmed. - By hormones.
- Do you have so little confidence? - Yes.
No. Is it one of the questions where I've suddenly said your ass is big?
No matter what you say, they're coming for dinner.
Why is he called Penis Per? Is it the size of his...
Or what?
I just want some friends. We never see anyone.
- That's not true. - Who?
Torben and Elisabeth and Sune.
- They're our neighbours. Please try. - You're enough for me.
- What happened to living fast? - Not with Penis Per!
- Hey. - Hi, kids.
- Are we expecting guests? - Yes.
Some friends are coming over tomorrow.
- Hi. Are you home? - You bet I am.
- Do you want to go for a run? - Don't you have renal failure?
We all have some failures. Shall we?
- Hi! - Elisabeth?
- Are you okay? - Never been better.
Strong as an ox.
I just need to stretch.
- What are you doing? - Hi, honey.
I'm just taking a run with Andreas.
Are you crazy? You're ill.
You need dialysis treatment.
Elisabeth, I know what I'm doing. You'll feel a prick.
- If it hurts, just squeeze my arm. - Yes.
- What's going on? - You're bleeding.
There.
Look, Torben. It's important that the needle goes in straight.
It's very simple.
It looks like it's working. Would you throw this out?
How are you feeling?
- Don't tell Torben. - Elisabeth...
It's now. Astrid, get her up. It's the beeper.
Get up, fat ladies. The kidney is here.
- Get those tubes out of her. The bag. - Torben!
- It's the dishwasher. - What?
Take a walk.
- He's driving me crazy. - He loves you.
- You'd think he was ill. - You'd think you weren't.
I'll be fine.
Did you consider asking someone to be a donor?
I won't bloody run around begging my neighbours for organs.
It's okay to ask for help. Even if you're you.
I don't need help. I don't want someone else's kidney.
I'm going to fix my own.
Diet, exercise, miracles.
"Take a walk", she said. You're never allowed to help her.
I just want my old Elisabeth back.
I understand.
What blood group is it?
- I don't know. - I need a kidney.
AB negative. Do you know where you can buy one?
Brazil. They have a good reputation for that sort of thing.
Why don't you just find someone with the same blood group?
Quiet.
I'd like to have a blood sample from all of you.
- Astrid is going to take them. - Yes.
The one who turns out to be AB negative will win this.
I inherited it from my dad. The major.
It's very valuable. And it's decorative.
- Questions? - Why do you want a blood sample?
Didn't I tell you? That's right.
The winner of the competition will donate a kidney to Elisabeth -
- and at the same time win this exceptional armour.
It's a big decision, but Elisabeth needs a new kidney.
If she's going to survive. So if...
- She can have my kidney. - That's the spirit, Sune.
And he's a cripple. Let's go.
- Aren't you going to change? - I did.
- That's underwear, Astrid. - What's yours? Dog walking gala?
- I'm not sending the wrong signals. - You can say that again.
- Something yummy for Penis Per. - And his wife.
- We're leaving now. - Okay. Here's some money.
Have fun. Bye, honey.
Yuck, mum. I could feel your tongue.
- Tobias! - That tongue is game.
- Let's go. - Bye. Have fun.
- You humiliated me. - You did it yourself in that outfit.
Stop it! Egghead!
Oh no. Is Flabby Astrid red monkey bum angry?
They're here.
Go and change, you idiot.
- Hi. - Hi.
Here you are.
Thank you.
- Hi. It smells great. - Thank you for inviting us.
Maybe we should have dressed up.
- Or maybe not. - There you are. Welcome.
- I'm bringing a baby. - Of course you are. Hi.
- We needed more friends. - You could have asked.
I didn't buy a very long tenderloin.
Take this.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Welcome. - Thank you.
- Mind the step, honey. - Yes.
- Karina. - Hi. Astrid.
Hi.
It's nice to finally meet Per's first big love.
- Yes, of course. - Hi.
- It's nice when people are laid-back. - Yes.
Come on in. Kim Borg.
- Hi. Karina. - Hi, Karina.
Yes... Hi.
- Hi, Kim. - Hi, Per.
- Would you like some meat? - Yes, please.
Honey.
I'll just take one more slice.
- Astrid. - I'll take it.
Don't take too much. Too much meat makes Astrid constipated.
- No, I don't. - No, on the contrary.
It's not true. Salad?
Don't forget the trip to the amusement park.
They get angry when they have to shut down an entire water park.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- Thank you for coming. - Thank you for inviting us.
I'm sorry there's so little food. I must have miscalculated.
Kim, what are you doing?
- Is this a tarragon marinade? - Yes.
I thought I could taste it.
Did you see that? Frederikke.
- It looked like she waved. - How funny. Hi, hi.
- Hi, hi. You can wave to her. - Would you?
Hi, hi.
- Would you pass the gravy? - Of course.
Be my guest.
Do you see my patient? The one with the crazy husband.
She doesn't want a new kidney. She'll cure herself.
- She'll be the first in history. - She has a very strong will.
LAXATIVE
Children give your life true meaning.
For some.
- More wine? - Yes, please.
You should fill life with what gives you joy. Such as beautiful women.
Astrid split all the way to you know where -
- when she gave birth to Mathias. Here are the sausages.
- Kim! - It's true.
We're considering having a third.
Elisabeth's illness made us think that life might suddenly end.
- You have to give your life meaning. - Cheers to that.
Cheers to getting the most out of life.
I really miss Aske now. I'll just call him.
Everything's fine. Sune's probably reading him a bedtime story.
"Larsen the baker always got to work very early.
People thought it was because he was a hardworking and upstanding man.
They were wrong, because Larsen the baker had only one thing on his mind.
Bettina, the girl in the baker's shop with the big, soft, round breasts.
And a tiny tight... which the short shop coat barely covered."
Just a minute.
Hi, Katrine. Everything's fine.
Uncle Sune is reading aloud. He loves it.
I wonder how the sausages are coming along?
- You've been married a long time. - You can say that again.
What do you do to keep it alive?
- What do you mean? - I mean clubs or...
We've thought about playing bridge. We've also danced salsa.
- But I'm no Latino. - They mean another kind of clubs.
Oh! Okay.
It's no secret that Karina and I like to experiment sexually.
I'd like to have sex with you.
Kim, you should know that Karina gives a divine blow-job.
Is that so?
We're all good at something, as they say.
- Astrid, I'd like to talk to you. - Just a minute.
They want to have sex with us. With you and me.
With me, too.
- You didn't plan this in advance? - I'm just as surprised as you are.
How do we get rid of them, Astrid?
- You're not serious? - It's actually a bit kinky.
- I don't want to be kinky. - Don't you want to?
If you were to be honest?
Wouldn't it be fun to do something completely crazy?
- Here's a quick dessert. - It looks delicious.
You can take them home if you want.
Home? We're not going home. Frederikke just fell asleep.
- How long is it since you left Aske? - Two hours.
Two hours?
It's unknown how children are affected -
- if they are abandoned at such a young age.
That's true.
Take these two and your cardigan.
- Okay. Bye. - Bye.
- It was really nice. - Come on. Bye.
I'd like to say that...
...that I've never had intercourse with anyone else than Astrid.
Okay.
There was of course my old teacher, Miss Andreasen.
She was our teacher in home economics and gym.
It's called physical education now.
They've dropped home economics. They ought to reintroduce it...
Come, Kim.
Go with her, honey.
Bye.
- Bye. - Have fun.
HEALTH AND VIGOUR
I'll help you.
- You look great from up here. - What?
Oh my god. I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
Why did you do that? You're dangerous. What's going on?
Does it still work?
- Do you want me to look? - No, it's still alive.
Are you being sick?
No... No, I'm eating...
...a seaweed bar with apricot.
I see.
- What about a quick trip to Brazil? - Brazil?
- They're big on organ donation. - You mean organ theft.
- They kidnap people and cut them up. - Don't make a fuss about trifles.
- We're leaving on Monday. - I don't need help.
I'll take care of this myself, thank you very much.
You need a new kidney. If the hospital can't find one, we'll have to do it.
None of the neighbours are a match, but we can put an ad in the paper.
Did you ask the neighbours? Behind my back?
- You can't help yourself. - What do you call all of this?
It's nobody's business how I'm feeling. I don't need pity.
You asked Kim and Astrid and Selma if I could have their kidney.
It's grotesque. Why not ask the pizza guy, the baker and Lisa, too?
- Who's Lisa? - My stupid twin sister.
Your twin sister? Do you have a twin sister?
No, I don't. I don't want to talk about it and that's final.
Elisabeth?
- This is weird. - You and I?
- Did you think a lot about me? - Sometimes.
Astrid? Astrid?
- She's collapsed. - Who?
Elisabeth!
Good Lord! Come on.
- What happened? - I don't know anything.
You call yourself a doctor. You'd better ask for your tuition fees back.
Let's go.
- Astrid, I have to... - Of course.
Look at yourself. You can see the whole lot.
Yes!
I'm afraid you've taken a turn for the worse.
Even with the dialysis treatment, your kidneys can't cope.
- What does that mean? - They'll probably give in very soon.
Very soon?
It doesn't look good.
So if I don't get a new kidney soon, I'll die?
Yes.
Your zipper's open.
I don't want to die.
I won't let you die, Elisabeth.
Never.
Come on, honey. Fine.
Here you are.
There's a little step here. Fine. We're almost there.
- It's good to be home. - Yes.
Lisa?
That's real fancy. I see.
You're living the high life.
You ought to air the house more.
How did you find me?
Torben called and told me about your illness.
That you talked about me all the time and missed me.
- Torben? Did Torben call you? - Yes. Torben, your husband.
We're not married and never will be.
- Torben? - I'm coming.
- Here you are. I can't serve alcohol. - I don't drink so that's fine.
Lisa is a Jehovah's witness.
- They don't live. - Says someone who's dying.
I've come to save you, Elisabeth.
- Sit down. - I didn't know she was...
There's a lot you don't know. Why did you invite her?
Because she's your sister. When you're ill, you need your family.
I was ostracized when I was 17.
- Why? - Because I'm me.
Imagine growing up in a home full of incomprehensible rules.
- The major was quite strict, too. - I wasn't very good at rules.
And I'm quite fond of gambling and guns, too.
- Weren't you a child? - What can you do in Northern Jutland?
Tip cows.
Suddenly I was standing there, 17 years old -
- with a family who'd turned their back on me completely.
Tell her she has to leave.
No matter what you think, she has a healthy kidney and your blood group.
- She'll stay till she hands it over. - You'll never get her to donate.
Yes, I will.
- My kidney? - Just one of them.
Torben, Torben...
When Jehovah let us eat animal flesh, -
- he didn't allow us to sustain our lives by consuming human flesh.
That's all very interesting. But will you do it?
- No, Torben, I'm sorry. - Goodbye, then.
No! I'm not going anywhere. My sister needs me.
All she needs is one of your kidneys.
You two should consider adult baptism.
Good Lord!
Hi, beautiful. Did it hurt getting the cast off?
You were right. What a night! It's like being 20 years old again.
- Where are you going? - To the library.
- Can't it wait? - No, otherwise we'll get a fine.
But you probably don't care.
Because you're a criminal, I don't have to be.
Christ, you're slow. It's perverted.
You and... Cunt Karina.
- You told me to do it. - You wanted to.
- Did you have to try so hard? - I did the same as usual.
My legs don't fall off when we fuck.
- Karina has an artificial leg. - Did you have to do your tricks?
- Do I know any tricks? - Tricks I've taught you.
I'm really confused.
Because you're stupid. Why did you make her scream?
- I didn't know I had to be bad. - You could have told yourself.
- I don't understand... - I can't look at you.
There's Selma. She's sawing into a tree.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Give me that saw, Selma.
Selma, give me that saw.
I hope you have a good explanation.
- You wouldn't understand. - Try us.
Come on, Selma. What are you up to?
Do you want to talk about something, Selma? Are you feeling down?
- You can always talk to me. - Me, too.
But not about menstruation, because as a man I don't have that.
Are you smoking? What's that? Vodka?
- What did she say? - Well...
- That's what I thought. - It would help if you asked.
Forget it.
- Would you take her to the train? - There's just one problem.
- Lisa refuses to leave. - What?
She's just as stubborn as you.
- Is it because of the tattoo? - Or the chinchilla?
- Was it to get attention? - No, that's not it.
It's because...
I have these feelings.
I can feel something...
I don't know how to describe it.
Feelings that strike suddenly.
It's about boys, right? Did a boy make you saw into that tree?
- No, it's not a boy. - Okay.
Are you in love with a girl, Selma?
- That's fine. - It's completely natural.
I'm myself... you know... We're completely on your side.
Astrid had intercourse with a woman once.
Kim!
We're on your team. Even though you play for the other team.
But you haven't told us why you sawed into that tree.
Maybe because I'm in love, then.
Honey. People do the silliest things for love.
Dinner's served. Come on.
- I have already eaten. - You need to put on some meat.
Yes.
A grown man like you won't say no to a good meal.
Thank you.
- I'll say. - It's a delicacy.
- Dear Lord. - Just call me Torben.
Grant me a good digestion.
Give me a healthy body and free me from the pride that makes people -
- renounce your gifts and earthly joys.
Jehovah, grant me a humble soul which focuses on what is pure.
Help me to be patient and find ways to re-establish a good relationship.
- Amen. - Amen.
- What the hell are you doing? - They show Jehovah their gratitude.
Don't think you can come here and convert people.
Try to eat something.
I only convert those who need it.
This poor man in a wheel chair needs to meet Jehovah.
- He needs some legs that work. - You always have to be so contrary.
The three of us enjoy a quiet prayer and who tries to ruin it?
That's enough.
I think you should go back home to all of that.
We haven't seen each other for 33 years.
I'm not going anywhere and that's final. Have a potato.
- I need dialysis treatment. - Me, too. Thank you.
We won't mind. Anyone can have an off-day.
- Full house. - Damn!
28?
- Twenty. - Thank you.
- Hi. - Can I have a sip?
There now.
- Is it tough? - I haven't slept for three years.
You don't have time to think about fulfilling yourself.
He's fallen out of favour again.
Hi, Torben.
How's she doing?
Sit down, Torben.
Well, sit down.
That's good.
Astrid is mad at me because I had sex with someone else. With Karina.
Who do you think you are? You lightweight.
- You don't deserve Astrid. - She told me to.
- So she could have sex with Per. - The ones at the dinner?
What the hell, Kim? I didn't know you were swingers.
Neither did I.
But Astrid didn't get to have sex with Per, so now she's beside herself.
So you're the only one who's been with someone else?
I don't know much about women but they keep accounts.
Yes. She won't forgive you until she's had sex with Penis Per.
Astrid won't stop until she's had the charmer.
- I get the picture, Torben. - She has to scream with joy.
While the doctor is shouting: "Astrid, you naughty devil!"
Thank you, Torben. Christ!
It's now. This is it. There's a kidney!
My phone beeps when Frederikke needs porridge.
Dad will give you your porridge now.
I'll hurry up.
There you go.
You're good at carving, right? Cutting up meat?
Sune is better. He does the carving when we get a pig at the restaurant.
- Did you shoot a moose? - No. No, it's...
It's Elisabeth's sister.
She won't give Elisabeth her kidney.
- You're not going to cut her up? - No, I'm not crazy.
No, I'm considering drugging her.
Then quietly taking out her kidney and patching her up again.
That's an utterly sick plan, Torben.
Good night.
You need help, Torben.
- Hi. - Over here.
- I need your help. - This isn't very disability friendly.
- It's important nobody sees us. - Are we going to kill someone?
No, it's much better.
We get some pills. Maybe you can steal them from Astrid.
- We drug her. - Astrid?
- No, Elisabeth's sister. - Okay.
We take her to the kitchen at the restaurant.
You cut out one of her kidneys. I tell Elisabeth there's a kidney.
Elisabeth and the kidney go to the hospital while you sew up the sister.
Three little stitches on that fat belly. She'll never notice.
- I can't even mend my trousers. - Come on, Sune.
We'll do it tonight.
I don't want to be negative, -
- but will the hospital take a hot kidney and a patient at the same time?
I thought about that. I'll bring weapons.
I'll force them to operate on her.
Hell, Torben, we can't just go around cutting up people.
You're a chef, I'm in the Home Guard. We've faced extreme situations before.
- What if she dies? - She won't.
- You don't know. - No.
What if Elisabeth dies? Would you rather risk that?
We just have to wait for a kidney. That doesn't work for me.
You don't get anything for nothing in this world.
The best thing that's ever happened to me...
...is Elisabeth.
If you don't want to save her life, then...
Then I'll do it alone.
Well...
Kim, are you ready?
- Wow! Are you going out? - Yes.
We're having dinner with P... With some friends.
- I need some pain-killers. - Okay.
- It really hurts. - You're paralyzed, Sune.
It's throbbing all over. I can't sleep at night.
- Pain-killers and sleeping medicine? - I feel really awful.
I need sleep or I'll come down with a depression.
- Hi, Sune. - Hi, Kim.
- Can we discuss this tomorrow? - I'm not doing anything tomorrow.
Other than being handicapped and depressed about my life.
But enjoy your dinner with your friends.
And sweet dreams when you get home.
You can take two Valium, and then we'll talk tomorrow.
- Two Valium. - Just two.
- What's wrong? - Let's call and say we can't make it.
We can't do that. That's very rude when they...
- I don't want to be unfaithful. - You have to.
- You already have been. - You forced me.
A lot of men dream about a chance like this.
Just because you're horny, don't pretend you're doing me a favour.
I won't force you to have sex with Karina.
Thank you very much.
Even though she was really hot.
- She did this thing with her tongue. - I don't need to know.
- Let's go home. - No.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Welcome. - Thank you.
- Come on in. - We've been looking forward to it.
- You've had the cast taken off. - Yes, I have. It's great.
- Hi. - Hi. Nice seeing you again.
It's almost like a park.
I've lived here all my life.
I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and a wooden leg.
Yes.
It was a good idea to take a walk, even though it's raining a little.
- Do you do it outside often? - Take a walk?
Oh, that. No, not that often.
Once when we were camping, in the tent.
- Before we had the boys. - You're so sweet.
- Where are we going? - I don't know.
- Do you have a helicopter? - Yes.
- You didn't have to do that. - Yes.
I did.
I think about you all the time.
I hope you won't be disappointed. I was 20 when you last saw me naked.
Believe me, you're much more beautiful now.
Lying suits you.
- Did you ever fly one of these? - Did you?
- Yes, it's mine. - I thought it was Per's.
No, he's afraid of flying. I can't get him in here.
Wow. I've always dreamt of flying one of these devils.
- Are you comfortable? - Yes, I'm fine.
- Yes, I'm comfortable. - I'll just come over.
There. And my leg, too.
- Do you feel good? - Yes.
Don't you want to?
- Preferably not. - You could just say so.
It's nothing personal. It's not because you're handi...
That you're missing a... That you have a wooden leg.
- I'm sorry. I'm not good at this. - Apparently.
It's okay. You could just say so.
Yes.
Good.
I would have offered you a blow-job while you flew the helicopter.
- You would? - Yes.
But if I have to be honest, I'm a bit relieved.
I just have a problem with bald men.
They remind me of a roll-on deodorant.
I think you're very sweet, Kim. You're just not my scent.
And maybe I'm not yours. That's alright, then.
- Can I help you, Torben? - No.
Yes.
I'd like to talk about your kidney.
I thought we'd settled all of that.
Don't you realize how serious this is? You can save your sister's life.
I'm very sorry, but it's not up to me.
I see. I have this for you, then.
Just a squiggle on the dotted line.
Are you crazy? Is this an organ donor card?
Yes. It's only effective after you've kicked the bucket.
I'm not kicking any bucket, Torben.
Elisabeth, why do you live in sin?
- Hasn't he asked you? - Torben? Constantly.
Why aren't you married, then?
He'll end up leaving me anyway.
Just like my ex-husband.
And my entire family.
And you, Lisa.
- Are the ladies thirsty? - What the hell is that?
Lemonade. You can have fun without alcohol.
- What will be next? - Someone's a bit grumpy.
Someone finds it hard being an alcoholic in a home with no alcohol.
- I've never understood your humour. - We're all different.
Here you are. Bottoms up.
What's with all this crap?
No!
What are you doing?
- You're having the best one. - They're alike!
Yes, on the outside, but not on the inside.
It's like you. You're as alike as two peas in a pod.
Except Lisa looks like a biscuit.
- What are you doing? - They leave rings on the table.
I'll take the best one, then.
- Stop! - Give me that glass, damn it!
Yes, that's fine.
- This is yours. - Is it bad enough for me?
You do have a sense of humour. Cheers.
What the hell?
- They ran off. - Who was it?
- Some kids. - Bloody brats!
- Which way did they run? - They're gone now.
- Can't I come in? I'm thirsty. - You live over there.
Selma, is that you? Come in and say hello.
- Hi, honey. - Hi.
It was just some brats. Selma saw them run off.
Selma? Hey.
- What are you doing? - I don't care if you go to jail.
Or if that self-righteous woman has her organs cut out.
If I hadn't thrown that rock, you'd have drunk the glass with the pills.
- Were you spying? - I saved your life.
How do you know this?
I think I'm clairvoyant.
Clairvoyant? Like a fortune-teller?
Sometimes I feel like I can see what's about to happen.
And then I try to stop it.
But it's always too late.
Sometimes it's just a feeling which tells me to saw into a tree -
- or throw a rock through your window.
Let me tell you something, Selma. I had a hard time as a teenager, too.
Suddenly you grow hair everywhere.
Your voice breaks. You think you can fly, walk on water.
But you can't break windows. I have to talk to Kim and Astrid.
- You think I'm crazy, too. - No, you're a teenager.
- Are you leaving? - They're a bit cuckoo.
Why can't I be a lesbian? Then everyone would be happy.
I think you need a long talk with God.
Fuck God! I just want to be a dyke.
Yes!
- I love you. - It's nice.
- I love you. - Yes, you're crazy about women.
No, I don't mean it that way.
- How many couples have you been with? - 61.
But listen. I love you and I think about you all the time.
I can't sleep and I can't eat.
I can't stand the thought of you with that bald traffic warden.
Kim isn't bald. His hairline is just receding.
Astrid, life is short, and we're not 20 any longer.
You can't spend it on someone who's wrong.
What's wrong?
Kim isn't wrong.
Astrid, Kim is an old habit.
What do you say? Would you like to start over with me?
This controls whether we fly forward or backward.
It's called a cyclic and you hold it in your right hand.
This is your captain, Kim Borg. I hope you've buckled up -
- because I'm a bad ass captain!
You bet you are, Kim.
- Astrid? - I want to go home.
I'm sorry.
- I love you. - I know.
I love you, too.
That's the end of that adventure.
It's just you and me now, egghead.
Karina's had a helicopter since she was 18.
- She's going to teach me to fly. - Karina?
Isn't it crazy? Me in the cockpit with the stick or what it's called.
- Have you become friends? - Yes.
I've made a friend.
- I didn't think you needed friends. - No.
But she has her own helicopter.
- Hi. - Hi.
- What are you doing in our bush? - I was taking a walk.
Then I needed to pee.
Be my guest. My bush is your bush.
- Do you need help? - No, I'm fine.
- Okay. - You only took two Valium?
- Okay. I'll talk to you tomorrow. - Yes.
- Have a nice evening. - Good night.
- Torben K. Dahl. - How long do I have to wait?
It won't be long. Plan A failed, so now it's Plan B. Roger, over.
"To create peace among man, God has to remove the evil.
In the battle of Armageddon his angels will destroy all...
Jesus will reign over the earth and turn it into a paradise.
Those who love God will have their sins erased, -
- and Jesus will do away with sickness, old age and..."
Too bad.
Here you are. I've made a late night snack for our dear guest.
- I don't mind if I do. - Didn't you make one for me?
We can share it.
- No, that won't do. - I'm hungry!
You have to fast. What if there's a kidney?
Then your fat belly is full of food and someone else will get the kidney.
- Stuffing yourself before bedtime. - I'm sick of your nonsense.
Whatever. Eat, Lisa.
- Yum-yum. - Thank you.
I'm going to bed.
- You don't have to come. - Good night.
- Sune! - Yes.
There.
Take it easy. I'm not a shopping cart.
There.
- Watch out. - They've gone to bed.
- I hope so. - You have the key, Sune.
- Damn. - There.
- How much did you give her? - Let's just say enough.
- Did you sharpen the knives? - Yes, and I printed this.
Fine. Then get to work.
Yes.
She has to get undressed, right?
Okay.
- Christ! - Someone needs shaving.
- Do they come from down there? - That's gross.
- Let's get to work. - But...
- Come on, Sune. - Yes.
Well...
- Come on, Sune. - Take it easy.
- Sune! What are you doing? - Hi, Katrine. What's up?
You didn't convince Sune of your crazy plan, did you?
Sune doesn't think it's stupid.
- I'm going home. - Just you do that. Snitch!
Not the head! Hit the legs if you have to.
- What were you thinking? - Maybe I pressed him a bit.
- I don't want to lose Elisabeth. - Your family needs you.
- Maybe we don't say it... - No, you don't.
Sune could teach you about not being so selfish.
Here you go. I'll wake Elisabeth. Get that kidney out of the lady.
She's dead. There's no pulse.
- You killed her. - It was all those pills.
- Hello? - Stop it! Get Astrid!
- I can't do it. - I'll get her.
- Shouldn't you pinch her nose? - Shut up.
You took that first aid class. You can do mouth-to-mouth.
- I didn't take that class. - Come on, Sune.
- Just a minute. It's pretty gross. - Come on, damn it.
- Come on. - Take it easy.
Blow.
What the hell are you doing?
Step back, all of you!
- What did you give her? - A bit of everything.
Help me! Not you, Torben.
- That one. - This one?
- What are you doing? - Mind your own business.
Take that ampoule with adrenaline.
There.
Fine. Damn it.
I'm not good with my left hand. Don't touch it, Torben.
Bloody hell!
Step back, everyone!
There's nothing I can do. She's dead.
It worked in "Pulp Fiction".
You don't get rid of Lisa that easy.
Lisa?
This is Jehovah.
The lost souls need your presence on earth.
You have to preach my words to them.
You can't give up.
Return to your mortal body.
That's an order!
- Good night. - Good night, Sune.
- Can you manage? - She's just as heavy as you are.
Are you okay, Selma?
- Good night. - Good night.
PARK ROAD
Lisa!
Lisa! Stop!
- Are you leaving? - I've had a call.
The lost souls need me.
There are lots of lost souls here. There's nothing but lost souls.
I can't reach you.
- Lisa, I need to talk to you. - I have a train to catch.
Lisa, this is hard for me, but I'm dying.
Will you help me?
Will you give me one of your kidneys?
Goodbye, Elisabeth.
Lord, give me a sign!
I need a sign that you'll forgive me if I give my sister a kidney!
Give me a sign!
Lisa!
Lisa?
Lisa? Lisa...
Elisabeth?
- She's dead. - Again?
And this time she means it.
Is anyone hurt? What happened?
She's dead. Again.
Yes, she's dead.
- Is that a donor card? - Yes.
But she hasn't signed it.
She has now.
PARK ROAD
Torben Kenneth Dahl, -
- do you take Elisabeth Sachs to be your lawful wedded wife?
To love and honour, in sickness and health -
- according to God's holy ordinance till death do you part?
I do.
Elisabeth Sachs, -
- do you take Torben Kenneth Dahl to be your lawful wedded husband, -
- to stand by him in sickness and health, till death do you part?
I do.
Dear Torben. I never thought I'd marry you.
- She was a tough cookie. - You bet I was.
I'd always thought that we were born alone and we die alone, -
- but I was wrong.
We don't have to be alone.
Especially not when someone will go through fire and water for you.
- Like you did for me, Torben. - Yes.
This bloody road won't let anyone die in peace, anyway.
So I'm staying a bit longer.
And thank you for that.
Are you crying?
- Do you think I'm a bitch? - Yes.
- Cheers to my bitch. - Cheers!
Torben, you old devil!
- Let's celebrate. - Let's party.
You should fill life with what gives you joy.
Such as beautiful women.
Astrid split all the way to...
Astrid!
What's up, Adolf?
Shit!
Yes!
- Fuck, I fell off. - Cut.
- What kind is it? - A Robinson.
I wasn't sure when I chose it, -
- because there are lots of different helicopters.
- Did you have to try so hard? - I did the same as usual.
My legs don't fall off when we fuck. Neither do my books.
She's blown her top.
This builds up muscles.
I'll say it again.
- Cut! - No, I'll just pick it up.
Go swing settee!
Swing settee!
Nothing happened.
Step back, everyone!
Christ!
THE END Subtitles by: Louise Munk Alminde Scandinavian Text Service 2012